![]() ![]() ![]() We sang “Happy Birthday,” and my mom and I exchanged gifts - she usually gives me everyday necessities and cash - which basically means that we end up giving each other our money back. She didn’t want to risk not getting it in time. When I asked why they didn’t just order the cake from a local store, my mom had an answer. (My mom doesn’t like my birthday dessert, but she doesn’t have a signature cake.) They brought the same dessert I’ve been getting since I was a toddler: a vanilla cake infused with Bavarian cream and fresh strawberries, topped with whipped cream frosting from Albertsons. The following year, I was living nearly 300 miles away from my mom, so she and my grandma drove here to spend the day with me. On one hand, I was ecstatic about scoring a last-minute ticket to see one of my favorite singers live on my birthday, but on the other hand, it felt odd not being with my mom that day. However, I felt conflicted in that moment - and somewhat guilty. Nor did she shun me after I broke our tradition that year. My mom never explicitly told me that we had to celebrate our birthdays together. “We didn’t get to spend our birthday together today,” my mom texted me just as I was about to drive home. By the time I left the venue, it was after midnight. However, my interview was delayed, and I didn’t have time to go home beforehand. (Lenae was opening for SZA’s Ctrl the Tour.) I planned to hang out with my mom before the concert for our birthday. It was a Friday, and I had a jam-packed day: a hair appointment in the morning, an interview with singer Ravyn Lenae for my radio show in the afternoon and a SZA concert in the evening. The first time I broke our tradition was on my 22nd birthday. For this reason, my grandmother and I typically give her money to avoid getting her something that she already owns or doesn’t want.Īs I’ve gotten older, celebrating my birthday with my mom has gotten trickier. She doesn’t enjoy the smell of fresh flowers, and if she casually mentions something that she likes, such as a handbag, she’s quick to buy it for herself. She hasn’t had a birthday party since she was a child, and if you asked her, she’d tell you that she doesn’t want one.Īlso, she claims to be an easy gift receiver, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. She’s also highly driven and works a lot. For the most part, though, she prefers to stay to herself. She’s the type to brag about my accomplishments to a store clerk in a checkout line and make anyone I introduce to her feel like they’ve known her for years. My mom is what some would consider a social introvert. She was being a selfless parent who only cared about my happiness on that day. “I was happy people acknowledged your birthday because it’s like, ‘OK, well, she’s getting all this love and attention. Also, it was rare for people who attended my parties, aside from our family, to wish my mom happy birthday as well.Īs time went on, my mom began making jokes, which were rooted in truth, that she didn’t have a birthday. One year she transformed our backyard into a carnival, and another year I had a sleepover with a group of friends at a hotel on the Las Vegas Strip. She’d spend weeks planning spectacular parties for me. It’s kind of like our own holiday.ĭespite our 21-year age difference, celebrating our birthdays together was easy for many years because my mom always made the day about me. Even after she and my dad separated when I was 6 and they began rotating which holidays they’d each spend with me, it was expected that I’d be with my mom on Sept. Since that momentous day in 1994, it’s become a tradition for my mom and me to spend our birthdays together. We even have matching gold infinity rings to symbolize the number 8 and our eternal bond. I like to think of it as a higher power winking at us and saying, “Now, you two will be bonded forever” - as Beyoncé’s “Virgo’s Groove” plays in the background. However, there’s just something unique about sharing your born day with the person who brought you into this world. I’ve heard stories about people having the same birthday as a romantic partner, a grandparent, a father or, of course, their twin. However, what happens when you have to start sharing your one special day with not just anyone but your only child? Even for people who don’t care about celebrating and say things like, “It’s just another day,” birthdays still hold significance because they represent another year of life gone by. Birthdays are the one time of year when your loved ones likely come together to celebrate you and when you can get a bunch of free stuff - like a birthday dessert at your favorite restaurant - simply because you were born on that day. I can understand why my mom, who’s an only child, wanted to have Sept. ![]()
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